Radio XXXV, side A, track 7: “Dressed For Success” by Roxette

Roxette - Dressed For SuccessOh, Roxette, I’ve never had much interest in fashion.  Oh, I knew what I liked when I was a kid, and it included Hawaiian shirts and bib overalls and sweater vests.  Eventually I realized that I couldn’t handle more than jeans and a T-shirt.  Maybe a flannel when it was cold.  MAYBE a denim button-up if I was feeling really fancy.  And I still firmly endorse the “jeans and a T-shirt” party.  My body shape’s changed a bit and my waistline’s expanded substantially, but I can still fit into my black Mystery Science Theater 3000 T-shirt I bought ten years ago, and I still fit into my Ladysmith Black Mambazo sweatshirt I got at their concert 15 years ago, and I still get compliments about them both, and I’m a man who sticks with what works.

But I will say, Roxette, I’m much more aware of fashion than I ever used to be.  It never occurred to me until I started dating my wife, but no one I’d dated previously was very into fashion.  They were mostly Wal-Mart shoppers or Goodwill aficionados.  Clothes were practical and nothing more.  My wife was the one who started talking about exotic shops with names like Banana Republic and Anthropologie and Nordstrom.  And one of my officemates is also a fashionista, and I work at a place full of women who read Cosmo and Harper’s and Lucky, so I find myself complimenting women on their shoes and their purses and their tops.

These are not things I would have paid any attention to before, Roxette.  But now I know all about kate spade and have even ordered things from her (not for myself, of course).  And I discovered that women are geeks like me, only better dressed,  like when my wife talked about getting to Target when they opened to get an exclusive Phillip Lim bag.  Much like one might know that Wednesday is the day for the new comic books to come out.  Fascinating, Roxette (which is what Mr. Spock would say).

So I’ve come to understand that fashion is a real thing, Roxette.  I don’t completely get it, but my wife doesn’t completely get why I’m so excited that Peter Parker’s taken his brain back from Dr. Octopus, so I’d say that we’re even.

I will say, though, Roxette, that people in the fashion industry seem like pretty awful people.  Since my wife was a religious “What Not To Wear” viewer and still DVRs “Project Runway”, and I’ve had to watch them at least peripherally, it seems like a pretty awful existence, with people constantly judging each other on their taste and their bodies and generally just being vapid, icky people.  I could start a daily blog devoted JUST to how much I detest the hosts of “What Not To Wear”.  It was a happy day in my house when I found out that show was ending.

BUT, I will say, as distasteful as I find the whole fashion industry, they make some good stuff.  You would never believe it, Roxette, but I actually wear a tie to work.  I know, right?  I even have a favorite BRAND of tie (English Laundry, if you must know).  If you would have told me even a few months ago that I was wearing a tie to work every day, much less knew how to actually tie it, I would have told you the same thing I yell at the TV any time my wife’s watching “Project Runway”.

But I took your advice, Roxette.  I decided to get dressed for success.  I decided that I’m really good at my job, and it was time to step up my game a little.  I needed to start looking like the professional that I was.  I never thought I’d feel comfortable in slacks and a tie, but I guess it’s just proof that there’s hope for everyone.

Don’t get me wrong, Roxette.  Not all of my ties are from Nordstrom Rack.  I’ve got a few Spider-man and Star Wars ties that make it into the rotation, and I’ve got my eye on some sweet Wolverine and Star Trek ties (Christmas liiiiist!!!).  But I’m finally starting to understand that, like it or not, you get judged on your appearance.  And while I’m perfectly happy to be judged as an emotionally stunted man-child with a limited wardrobe (all true judgements, as it so happens), it’s nice to be seen as a WELL-DRESSED emotionally stunted man-child every once in a while.

“Dressed For Success”

<awesome Roxette jam>

Tried ta make it
Little by little

Tried ta make it
Bit by bit on my own

Quit the job
The grey believers

Another town
Where I get close to the bone

Whatcha gonna tell ya brother
Oh oh oh
Whatcha gonna tell ya father
I don’t know
Whatcha gonna tell ya mother
Let me goooooooooo

I’m gonna get dressed
For success

Shaping me up for the big time, baby, get dressed
For success

Shapin’ it up for your love
For your love
Yeah yeah yeah

I’m not afraid
A tremblin’ flower

I’ll feed ya heart
And blow the dust from your eyyyyes

Ohhh ho ho
And in the dark
Things happen faster
I love the way
You sway your hips next to miiine

Oh
Whatcha gonna tell ya brother
Oh oh oh
Whatcha gonna tell ya father
Ohhhh, I don’t know
Whatcha gonna tell ya mother
Let me goooooooooo

I’m gonna get dressed
For success

Shaping me up for the big time, baby, get dressed
For success

Shapin’ it up for your love, yeah

Look sharp!

<awesome Roxette jam>

Yeeeah yeah yeah
Ohhhhhhh

Whatcha gonna tell ya brother
Oh oh oh oh oh
Whatcha gonna tell ya father
I don’t know
Whatcha gonna tell ya mother
Let me goooooooooo

Dressed
For success

Mmmm, I’m gonna get dressed
For success

I’m gonna get dressed
For success

Hittin’ the spot for the big time, baby, get dressed
For success

Shapin’ it up for your love
For your love
Yeah yeah yeah
For your love
Yeah yeah yeah
For your love
Yeah yeah yeah
For your love
Yeah yeah yeeeeeah

<awesome Roxette jam>

Yeah

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