Monthly Archives: August 2014

Radio XL, side A, track 15: “If I Could Turn Back Time” by Cher

Cher - If I Could Turn Back TimeOh, Cher, we already know that I’m a bit of a grump when it comes to music videos.  I firmly believe that music videos are at complete odds with good old-fashioned music.  For instance, what’s that band, OK Go?  I can’t for the life of me remember what their music sounds like or even the name of any of their songs, but I know they make some entertaining videos.  And if I can’t remember any of their songs and can only remember the visuals from their music video, are they, in fact, musicians?

This here song is another prime example.  This song is great, Cher.  I love this song.  Love it a lot.  And I would love to talk about how great it is and how amazing the lyrics are (“Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes”?  Yes!  That’s a great lyric) or maybe even just talk about how this song plays with the idea of time travel, which I’m really bursting to talk about since I just got caught up on series 7 of “Doctor Who” and saw the first full episode with Peter Capaldi and how time travel both fascinates and terrifies me.

But we’re not going to talk about any of that, Cher.  And no one is ever going to talk about any of those concepts as it pertains to this song.  Because all anyone is ever going to talk about when it comes to this song is the music video of this song.  Hell, that’s the first thing the DJ mentions when this song starts.  And I can’t say I blame him.  Even I, who had very little access to music videos at the time, saw this particular music video.

And don’t get me wrong, Cher, I was definitely not complaining at the time I saw this particular music video.  But now that I’m older and a curmudgeon, all I can think is “What the hell, Cher?!?!”  How does you parading around a battleship amongst horny sailors, wearing something Borat would also eventually wear, what does any of that have to do with this amazing song?  What does you straddling a phallic gun barrel have to do with traveling time and space to stop yourself from ruining your relationship?

Nothing, Cher.  Absolutely nothing.  I won’t even go into my thoughts on the Navy.

So yeah, Cher, if I ever need to make my case as to why music videos are a contradiction in terms and how they absolutely ruin the connection between a song and its listener, this is exhibit A.  But since I CAN’T turn back time Doctor Who-style and stop music videos from existing, I might as well give the people what they want, Cher.  Hell, I’m not going to lie.  I want to see it again, too:

“If I Could Turn Back Time”

If I could turn back time

If I could find a way

I’d take back those words that’ll hurt you
 
And you’d stay

I don’t know why I did the things I did

I don’t know why I said the things I said

Pride’s like a knife, it can cut
Deep inside

Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes

I didn’t really mean to hurt you

I didn’t wanna see you go, I know I made you cry
But, baby, if I could turn back time

If I could find a way

I’d take back those words that’ll hurt you

You stay

If I could reach the stars

I’d give ’em all to you

Then you’d love me
Love me
Like you used ta do

If I could turn back time
My world was shattered, I was torn apart

Like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart

You walked out that door, I swore that I didn’t care

But I lost everything, darlin’, then and there

Too strong to tell you I was sorry

Too proud to tell you I was wrong, I know that I was blind
And darlin’, if I could turn back time

If I could find a way

I’d take back those words that’ll hurt you

And you’d stay

If I could reach the stars

I’d give ’em all to you

Then you’d love me
Love me
Like you used ta do

Ohhhhh

If I could turn back time (turn back time)
If I could
Turn back tiiime (turn back time)
If I could
Turn back tiiiiime
Ohhhh

Babyyyyy

I didn’t really mean to hurt you

I didn’t wanna see you go, I know I made you cry

Ohhh, if I could turn back time

If I could find a way

I’d take back those words that hurt you

If I could reach the stars

I’d give ’em all to you

Then you’d love me
Love me
Like you used ta do

If I could turn back tiiiiiiiime (turn back time)

If I could find a way (find a way)

Then baby
Maybe
Maybe

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