Radio XLII, side B, track 10: “Hey Ladies” by Beastie Boys

Beastie Boys - Hey LadiesOh, Beastie Boys, by this point in my radio taping career, I was familiar with what rap was.  I’d heard several songs by DJ Jazzy Jeff and his buddy The Fresh Prince, and I’d been overjoyed by hearing about all of Tone Loc’s sexual conquests and misadventures.  But I’d never heard anything like this before.  This was about women, too, but the only reason I had any idea that was the case was because you had “ladies” in the title.  There was very little that I actually understood from your rapid-fire delivery.  Not saying I didn’t enjoy it, of course, Beastie Boys, because I loved the hell out of this song then and now, but trying to follow along on this one was like that scene in “Modern Times” when Charlie Chaplin’s trying to keep up with the conveyor belt.  I missed the majority of what was going on in this one, but every once in awhile I’d be able to shout “Hey ladies!” or “Makin’ love in the back of my Coup DeVille” or “She thinks she’s the passionate one”.  Maybe I’d bark out “tomfoolery!” or “just step to the rhythm”, but I had no idea what it was in reference to, they were just little snippets that I was able to randomly catch, like catching a random slippery fish in a river full of slippery, fast-talking Brooklyn fish.

If you guys had been born several decades earlier, you’d have been The Bowery Boys.  I love the idea of you guys switching places with the likes of Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hall, with them taking over your rapping duties and you guys creating mayhem and tomfoolery on the silver screen.  Honestly, Beastie Boys, I think the results for both the music and movies would be very much identical whether it was “Slip” Mahoney busting rhymes or Ad-Rock causing hijinks at Louie’s Sweet Shop.

“Hey Ladies”

<awesome Beastie Boys jam>

Hey…hey ladies in the place, I’m callin’ out to ya
There never was a city kid truer and bluer
There’s more to me than you’ll ever know
And I got more hits than Sadaharu Oh
Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery
Date women on T.V. with the help’a Chuck Woolery
Words flowin’ out just like the Grand Canyon
And I’m always out lookin’ for a female companion
I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
Took off her moccasins, put on a bib
Hey ladies

Wheelin’ and dealin’, I make a little bit of a stealin’
I’ll bring you back to the place and your dress I’m peelin’
Your body’s on time and your mind is appealin’
Starin’ at the cracks up there upon the ceilin’
Such and such will be the bass that I’m throwin’
I’m talkin’ to the girl tellin’ her I’m all knowin’
She’s talkin’ to the kid
I’m tellin’ her every lie thatcha know that I never did
Hey ladies

All the ladies in the house

The ladies, the ladies

Me in the corner with a good-lookin’ daughter
I dropped my drawers, said “Welcome Back Kotter”
We was cuttin’ up the rug, she started cuttin’ up the carpet
In my apartment, I begged her please stop it
The gift of gab is the gift that I have
And that girl ain’t nothin’ but a drag
Educated, no, stupid, yep
And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh
I’m not James at 15 or Chachi in Charge
I’m Adam and I’m adamant about livin’ large
With the white Sassoons and the looks that kill
Makin’ love in the back of my Coupe De Ville then
I met a little cutie, she was all hopped up on zootie
I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie
‘Cause I don’t kinda go for that messin’ around
You be listenin’ to my records, a number one sound
Just step to the rhythm, step step to the ride
I’ve got an open mind so why don’t you all get inside
Tune in, tune on, to my tune that’s live
Ladies flock like bees to a hive

Hey ladies

Hey ladies
Girls, girls

Hey ladies

One more time, ain’t it funky, now

Hey ladies

Ya know
She got a gold tooth
Ya know she’s hardcore
She’ll show you a good time then she’ll show you the door

Break up witcha girl
It ended in tears
Vincent Van Gogh, go and mail that ear

Call her in the middle of the night when I’m drinkin’
The phone booth on the corner is damp and it’s stinkin’
Said come on over, it was me that she missed
I threw that trash can through her window ’cause you know I got dissed

Your old lady left you and you went insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 Train
Take my advice at any price
A gorilla like ya mother is mighty weak, man
Suckin’ down pints ’till I didn’t know
Wwwoke up in the mornin’ with the One Ton Ho
‘Cause I announce
I like girls that bounce
With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce

Girls with curls and big long locks
And beatnik chicks just wearin’ their smocks
Walkin’ high and mighty like she’s number one
She thinks she’s the passionate one
Hey ladies


What’s that



Good God
Baby baby baby baby

Is it funky, brother

Hey ladies

Hey hey ladies

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2 thoughts on “Radio XLII, side B, track 10: “Hey Ladies” by Beastie Boys

  1. […] had a more rapid-fire approach that was hard to emulate, much like what I’d heard from the Beastie Boys, and it was in hearing this song that I finally understood that not all rap was the […]


  2. […] Beastie Boys, can you believe that in all the time I recorded music off the radio as a kid that I only actually captured one of your songs?  This was not one of them, so I am beyond tickled to have another of your songs, and such a […]


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