Daily Archives: February 1, 2015

Radio XLVI, side B, track 7: “Don’t Close Your Eyes” by Kix

Kix - Don't Close Your EyesOh, Kix, not real surprising that I recorded this one again since it’s so damn awesome.  And since this track happens to fall on a Sunday, I thought it would be a good time to talk about trying not to close one’s eyes.  In church.  Not when you’re praying, Kix.  I’m talking about when the minister is giving his sermon.  In all the years that I went to church, and we’re talking a LOT of church, Kix, there is not one sermon that I remember.  When I was a real little kid, I just wasn’t paying attention.  Then I got a little older and still wasn’t paying attention.  But then, when I’d reached the promised land of having a driver’s license and a curfew to break, sometimes getting home at 2 or 3 AM, then getting up at 6 AM to feed cows, and then sitting in a pew and listening to my pastor droning on, forget about it, Kix.  As soon as he opened his mouth, I was out like a light.  The worst part about all of it was that we were invariably late, which meant we had to sit close to the front, which meant that the pastor had a perfect vantage point to watch me ignore his guidance on staying out of hell.

I love to sleep, Kix.  The nap is one of the best things ever created.  But there is nothing worse than that feeling when you realized you dozed off when you weren’t supposed to, whether it be in church or in a meeting or just sitting around with relatives on a muggy summer day.  That disoriented feeling, followed immediately by that panic as you try to determine if anyone noticed what happened and how long you were unconscious and what exactly you did while you were asleep.  Since I’m the kind of guy who talks and jerks around and yells in his sleep, this is a problem.  Lucky for me, not so lucky for her, I now have a wife who can either give me a nudge or at least give me the run-down of what happened while I was out.  To my horror, I’ve learned that I’m a horrible snorer during airplane trips and I have a tendency to jump up in my seat, gasp, and stare around wild-eyed when I wake up.  I’m sure it looks hilarious, but I’m pretty much mortified every time.  I don’t know if I was that bad during my church-going days; I can’t imagine I was, but I do remember the glares and nudges from my parents quite well, so maybe I was after all.

Back in college, I had a professor who had to have had narcolepsy or something.  The guy didn’t seem in particularly good shape (said the pot to the kettle), which may have been a contributing factor, but anyway, the guy had a tendency to fall asleep in the middle of giving a lecture.  Although to his credit, after a minute or so of us students sitting around uncomfortably, he’d wake up and continue right where he left off.  There was one time where I had to meet with him about a paper I’d written for his class, and his office was a glorified broom closet stacked with books, so it was pretty intimate, and in the middle of giving me his feedback on my paper, he drifted right off for about ten minutes, while I sat there clearing my throat and moving my chair around and pretending to cough to try to get him to wake up.  Back then, I couldn’t even imagine how someone could fall asleep in front of a whole room full of people.  I kinda get it now, though, and I’m feeling like I’m about five years away from joining my professor in making a room full of people uncomfortable because I’ve drifted off in the middle of a presentation I’m giving.

Which is why when I give presentations at work, I stay on my feet the whole time.  Just in case.  And in a bit of karmic justice for my pastor. . .although I guess he wouldn’t consider karma to be playing a key role in any of this, would he?  Anyway, I never really thought about how rude it was to be falling asleep during a sermon.  After all, I didn’t even want to be there in the first place.  But now, I give presentations and facilitate trainings at my job, and it’s annoying as HELL when someone nods off while I’m talking.  And I’m always conflicted about what to do.  Because I totally get what it feels like to be exhausted and stuck sitting somewhere you don’t really want to be listening to someone talk about something you really don’t care about at all.  But then again, if I’ve gotta be there, they can at least keep their eyes open.  Maybe I’ll just start playing this song real loud when the room’s getting drowsy, Kix.  I guarantee it would have kept me awake during church.  Probably it would have, anyway. . .

“Don’t Close Your Eyes”

<awesome Kix jam>

Whatcha doin’ out in the night tiiiiime

Why’dja call me on the phooooone

Ya mama can’t solve ya probluuuuuum

When’s daddy ever get hooooome

So ya did ya little move an’ criiiiiied

In the middle of a suiciiiiiiiide

Don’t close yo eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes

Don’t close yo eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes

Don’t sing your laaaast lulla-byyyyyyyyyyyyyy

No one there ta hold yoooooooooou

No one hears your screeeeeam

Ya live life up and down’aaa

Nightmare’s are your dreams

I know it’s lonely when your hangin’ ‘roooound

Doncha take it lyin’ dooooown, no

Hold on
Hold on tiiiiiight

I’ll make
Everything all riiiiiiiight

Wake up
Don’t go ta sleeeeeeep

I pray the lordjo soul ta keeeeeeeeep

<awesome Kix jam>

Don’t close yo eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes

Don’t close yo eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes

Don’t sing your laaaast lulla-byyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Don’t close yo eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes

Don’t close yo eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes

Don’t sing your laaaast lulla-byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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