Oh, Katy Perry, holy shit is this a great song. The first time I heard it was when I recorded it off of BOB, and then I listened to the shit out of it because it’s really frigging amazing. The buildup to the chorus is just sublime, Katy Perry. And this is a pretty big deal for me to be gushing about this song and its metaphor of fireworks because I am not a particular fan of fireworks.
I get it, Katy Perry. I ooh and aah-aah-aah with the rest of them when fireworks go off, but let’s leave it in the hands of professionals, all right? I don’t know whose idea it was to sell explosives to the masses but I would like to have a word with that person. Growing up in Minnesota, it was illegal to sell or own fireworks, so I typically only saw them where they were meant to be seen, in grand explosions overseen by professionals who knew what they were doing.
But now I live in Texas, Katy Perry, and the people in this state seem intent on burning themselves to the ground. Besides the fact that the random explosions scare the shit out of my dogs, sometimes quite literally, my fellow residents of the state don’t seem to recognize that we live in a tinderbox. Even though there’s burn bans in place pretty much all the time, some yahoo is constantly lighting off his personal arsenal. I’ve witnessed at least two grass fires set alight by overzealous firebugs. And just this week, some random guy set off a firecracker while my dog and I were taking a nice leisurely walk. It scared the hell out of both of us and broke my concentration while I was listening to the cast recording of “Wicked”. How’s a guy supposed to lose weight with that going on? And who’s paying my dog’s Xanax bills?
Anyway, Katy Perry, I didn’t mean to get all grump on you. If this song weren’t so amazing, I might not be able to forgive you for promoting such a ridiculously obvious safety hazard, but this song IS so amazing, so I guess it’s worth a few forest fires and missing limbs.