Oh, Violent Femmes, I personally wasn’t real in to you, but I’ve dated a couple women who absolutely loved you, including my wife. Frankly, Violent Femmes, it’s a pretty good barometer of if you should be seeing someone. What I mean is, if someone’s a big fan of yours, they’re very likely worth knowing. I think I’d heard one of your songs in high school during a speech meet when someone was blasting one of your songs in the gym, but when they got to “Why can’t I get just one fuck”, that put the kibosh on that.
I love your music, Violent Femmes, but there’s a part of me that’s also always horrified by it because it sounds like you’re the kind of band that might form in an insane asylum, and if I’m a fan, that means that’s where I’m likely listening to you. And I’ve already made it clear that insanity is not something I like to think about.
What I really appreciated the most about this one, though, Violent Femmes, is reading some of the interviews y’all did regarding this song. The theories that this is about masturbation or that “big hands” represents God, not only were these not your intentions, but you hadn’t even thought about it until someone mentioned it to you. That’s my favorite thing about art, Violent Femmes, is that no one can control it, not even the artist themselves. Once you’ve released it out into the world, it takes on a life of its own. It’s what I’ll think about every time I listen to this song from now on. Which is much better than thinking of you trying to play the guitar in a straitjacket.