Oh, Sheb Wooley, you can’t go wrong with singing “The Purple People Eater”. Here’s the thing that I’ve always wondered about, though, Sheb Wooley: sure, this is a novelty song, but at the end of the day, this swingin’ creature from parts unknown eats people. Yeah, they’re purple people, but still. I know that he plays a mean horn from out of his head, but shouldn’t we all be a little bit more concerned that it seems like his sole source of sustenance is purple human flesh? There’s a chance he comes from another dimension, where everybody’s purple, but just a quick Google search reveals that there are indeed “purple people” out there. So he could potentially be a religiously intolerant predator who devours religious fanatics. And yet he still gets to perform on prime-time television? I don’t know, Sheb Wooley, I’m kinda surprised that no one has looked into this more. Great song or not, I think we need to draw the line somewhere, don’t you?
“The Purple People Eater”
Well, I saw the thing comin’ out of the sky
It had one long horn
One big eye (Woo!)
I commenced ta shakin’ and I said “ooh-eee”
It looks like a purple people eater to me
It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater
(One-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater)
A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater, sure looks strange ta me (one eye?)
Well he came down to earth and he lit in a tree
I said, “Mr. Purple People Eater, don’t eat me”
I heard him say in a voice so gruff
“I wouldn’t eat you ’cause you’re so tough”
It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater
One-eyed, one-horned flyin’ purple people eater
One-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater
Sure looks strange ta me (one horn?)
I said “Mr. Purple People Eater, what’s your line”
He said “It’s eatin’ purple people and it sure is fine
But that’s not the reason that I came to land
I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band”
Well, bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin’ purple people eater
Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin’ purple people eater
(We wear short shorts) Flyin’ purple people eater sure looks strange to me
(Woo!)
And then he swung from the tree and he lit on the ground
He started to rock, a really rockin’ around
Was a crazy ditty with a swingin’ tune
“Sing a bop bop aboopa loppa loom bam boom”
Well, bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin’ purple people eater
Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin’ purple people eater
“I like short shorts”, flyin’ little people eater
Sure looks strange to me (purple people?)
And then he went on his way, and then whattaya know
I saw him last night on a TV show
He was blowin’ it out, a’really knockin’ ’em dead
Playin’ rock and roll music through the horn in his head
<awesome Purple People Eater jam>
“Tequila”
Mixed Tape Masterpiece 