Oh, Jody Watley, Eric B., and Rakim, last time this song came up, I talked about my own friends and I made a passing reference that while I have friends that are great, I myself am not a good friend. I thought maybe I should expound on that, just in case any of you three were thinking about being my friend. I’m not saying I wouldn’t want you guys to be my friends, Jody Watley, Eric B., and Rakim, I’m just giving you fair warning that I’m not a very reliable person.
We can chalk most of it up to anxiety. Most of it. Whenever someone asks me if I want to do something, my immediate response is to figure out an excuse of why I can’t. It doesn’t matter who it is or what we’re going to do, my brain kicks into flight mode immediately. And God forbid I’m in a rare optimistic mood, because then I’ll agree to something, thinking that I’ll always feel as good as I do in that moment. But that of course has never happened, and as the event approaches (and by event, I’m talking going to a movie or meeting for a drink or something equally as un-epic), my anxiety level increases and I start to come up with excuses as to why I can’t make it and on the day of whatever benign thing I was supposed to do arrives, I invariably send an email with a lame excuse and instantly feel relieved.
I’ve gotten better in the last few years by the mere fact that my wife won’t allow me to cancel on people. So thanks to her I look a little less like an asshole. But an asshole I remain at heart. I’m a very shitty friend, Jody Watley, Eric B., and Rakim. It’s probably best we never hung out, because just like your song says, I’ll let you down and I won’t be around. There are a lot of songs from my tapes that I’d love to have as my theme song. This isn’t one of them, but it’s probably closer to the mark than any of the other ones. So I’ve got that going for me.
“Friends”
Have you ever
Â
Been stabbed in the back
By someone you thought was really cool
Did they steal your lover
Or was it money
Or was it
Lies they told
Straaangers juuust disguised as your friends
Never again
‘Cause now you knooow
That friends
Will letchoo down
Friends
Won’t be around, when ya neeeed them most where are your friends
Friends
Are hard to find
Friends
Yours and miiiine
Talkin’ ’boutcho friends
Smiles
They hide behind
Never know what’s on their mind
Could be
True de-ception
Jealousy and envy reign, never want ta see ya get ahead
They just holjoo back
Friends
Will letchoo down
Friends
Won’t be around, when ya neeeed them most where are your friends
Ohh, friends
Are hard to find
Friends
Yours and miiine
Talkin’ aboutcho friends
Friends are hard ta find so be careful, you could be flyin’ an inch or a mile if I pay you
But some ain’t that bad, but one might backstab ta get the fake tips of what one might have
Bite the hand that feeds you, leave the people who needjoo
For those who hold ya back and mislead you
Ta be a leader
Don’t get led on unleaded
The wrong direction
A dead end’s next then
Heed the detour, life’s like a seesaw
The ups and downs, and I’ll bet there’ll be more
Potholes and obstacles in our path, that’s righteous
At times ya need a hand ta fight this
Way of life
Straighten up, take the door to the placid
And doncha act two-faced
‘Cause jealousy and envy and ya still act friendly you could find the end if you pretend to be
Friends
Will letchoo down
Friends
Won’t be around, when ya neeeed them most where are your friends
Yeeeah, friends
Are hard to find
Friends
Yours and miiine
Talkin’ aboutcho friends
<awesome Jody Watley, Eric B. and Rakim jam>
Used ta kiss me, tell me you missed me
But now ya try ta glaze me, play me and dis me
I’m wide awake
Ready ta break, so we’d argue
What happened to the kisses, and, why, how are you
Forgot about the times when I rhymed and I bathed you
Rings were the only little things that I gave you
Still ain’t thankful
Ya still complainin’, used ta be a bright storm but now it’s rainin’
Harder than ever, I’m thinkin’ whether
A’you should be friends, let it end, is it bad, so you forget to remember
Your body’s tender
The vibe that I send her
Makes her surrender
The feelings you capture
Caught in a rapture
No women can matcha so when I’m lookin’ atcha
Paint a perfect picture so ya can remember me
But you could find the end if you pretend ta be
Friends
Will letchoo down
Friends
Won’t be around, when ya neeeed them most where are your friends
Ohh, friends
Are hard to find
Friends
Yours and miiine
I’m talkin’ aboutcho friends
Friends
Will letchoo down
Friends
Won’t be around
Mixed Tape Masterpiece 