Radio XLIV, side B, track 12: “Dr. Feelgood” by Motley Crue

Oh, Motley Crue, so great to hear you guys again so soon!  So apparently, this particular track was part of a “Battle Of The Hits”, which I totally don’t remember being a thing, but it clearly was since we have the proof of it on tape.  But anyway, they had you guys go first because you were the champions, presumably from previous battles, and also, no shit this song was the champion.  How could it not be?  And your challenger was going to be “18 & Life” by Skid Row.  Now, I’ve already written about Skid Row’s hit, and I think it’s great, but I can tell you right now who I wanted to win in a showdown between your song and theirs.  I’ll give you a hint:  I didn’t record the song that followed this one that night.  It IS possible that I didn’t record Skid Row’s song because I ran out of room on my tape (this is the last track on side B, after all), but what’s more likely is that you just can’t compare another song to this one right after you hear “Dr. Feelgood”.  It’s way too intense and awesome to be battling against anyone, honestly.  Frankly, I had this moment while I was listening to this track and thinking about how “18 & Life” would have likely fared that night way back in 1989, and I had this moment of thinking that “18 & Life” sucked.  Which it totally doesn’t.  But if you’re comparing it to this song, then yeah, it kinda does.  Even though it doesn’t.

The moral of the story is, just don’t be putting songs up against this one in a battle.  It’s just not a fair fight.

“Dr. Feelgood”

<awesome Motley Crue jam>

Rat-tailed Jimmy is a secondhand hood
Deals out in Hollywood

Got a ’65 Chevy with primered flames
Traded for some powdered goods

Jigsaw Jimmy, he’s runnin’ a gang, but I hear he’s doin’ OK
Got a cozy little job, sells the Mexican mob
Packages’a candy cane

He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He’s the one that makes ya feel all right
He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood

Cops on the corner always ignored
Somebody’s gettin’ paid

Jimmy’s got it wired, law’s for hire, got it maaade in the shaaade

Got a little hideaway, does business all day, but at night he’ll always be found
Sellin’ sugar to the sweet
People on the street, call this Jimmy’s town

He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He’s the one that makes ya feel all right
He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He’s gonna be yo Frankenstein
I’ve got one thing you’ll understand (Dr. Feelgood)
He’s not whatcha’d call a glamorous maaan (Dr. Feelgood)
Got one thing that’s easily understood (Dr. Feelgood)
He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgooooooood

Oh yeah

<awesome Motley Crue jam>

He’ll tell ya he’s the king of these barrio streets
Movin’ up ta Shangri-La
Came by his wealth as a matter’a luck
Says he never broke no law

Two-time loser runnin’ outta juice
Time to move out quick

Heard a rumor goin’ ’round, Jimmy’s goin’ down, this time it’s gonna stick

He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He’s the one that makes ya feel all right
He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He’s gonna be yo Frankenstein
Let him soothe your soul, just take his hand (Dr. Feelgood)
Some people call him an evil maaan (Dr. Feelgood)
Let him introduce himself real good (Dr. Feelgood)
He’s the only one they call Feelgoooooooood

<awesome Motley Crue jam>

I’ve got one thing you’ll understand (Dr. Feelgood)
He’s not whatcha’d call a glamorous maaan (Dr. Feelgood)
Got one thing that’s easily understood (Dr. Feelgood)
He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgooooooood

Dr. Feeeeelgoooood (Dr. Feelgood)

Dr. Feeeeelgooooood (Dr. Feelgood)

Dr. Feeeeelgoooood