Oh, Bette Midler, before I go on, I want to acknowledge that I think this song is really beautiful, and I was really fortunate to have been able to record it off the radio. But holy shit is this song one of the most condescending pieces of work I’ve ever heard in my life. This song could only be written in Hollywood, because only a Hollywood star could be that cloyingly magnanimous. Only a Hollywood star could think that starting off a song with “It must have been cold there in my shadow” was anything but the height of arrogance. It’s one of the reasons I can’t watch awards shows anymore. Oh, I used to love them, Bette Midler, as much as I loved this song (and I still do love this song, don’t misunderstand). The Oscars used to be my Super Bowl. I was the gayest straight man in my small rural community.
But these days, I just can’t take that cloud of smug self-importance that permeates those things. I can’t stand listening to some actor or actress somberly thank some schmuck who is still suffering whatever they’re suffering from but who has become the wind beneath that actor or actress’ wings during that particular awards season. I can’t stand other actors and actresses somberly shaking their heads about the situation in whatever far-flung region they made their movie about while they’re wearing clothing and receiving goody bags worth more than the GDP of the region they were making the movie about. I can’t take those “In Memoriam” segments that turn into disgusting popularity contests as the audience measures how worthwhile someone’s life was by applause.
In short, Bette Midler, the way I’ve felt about this song over the years reflects how I feel about the entertainment industry as a whole. I started out with stars in my eyes until the scales fell off those eyes and I apparently scrunched down into a bitter, wizened crank. But seriously, Bette Midler, let’s be honest. That person who’s walking a step behind resents the hell out of you. And that beautiful smile that hides the pain? It’s really hiding how much of a pretentious ass they think you are. No offense.
“Wind Beneath My Wings”
Ohhhh woaaah woooooooooaahhhh
Ohhhhhhhhh
It must have been cold there in my shaadooow
Ta never have sunlight on your faaace
You were content ta let me shine, that’s your way
You always walked a step behiiind
So I was the one with all the gloooryyy
While you were the one with all the streeeength
Beautiful face without a naaaame
For so long
Beautiful smile ta hide the paaaain
Did you ever know that you’re my heeeroooo
And everything I would like to beeeee
I can fly hiiiigher than an eeeeagle
For you are the wind beneath my wiiings
It might have appeared to go unnotiiiced
But I’ve got it all here in my heeeart
I wanchoo ta know I know the truuuth
‘Course I know it
I would be nothing without yoooooooou
Did you ever know that you’re my heeeerooo
You’re everything I wish I could beee
I could fly hiiigher than an eagle
You are the wind beneath my wiiiings
Did I ever tell you you’re my heroooo
You’re everything, everything
I wish I could beeee
Ohhhh and I
I can fly higher than an eagle
‘Cause you are the wiiiiind beneath my wings
Oh, the wind beneath my wiiiiings
Flyyyyyyyy
Flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Flyyyyy awaaaay
You let me fly so hiiiigh, oh flyyyyy
Flyyyyyyyyyyyy, fly high against the sky
So high I almost touch the sky
Thank yoooou, thank you
Thank God for you
The wind beneath myyyy wiings
Mixed Tape Masterpiece 