Radio XXX, side B, track 4: “Stand” by R.E.M.

Oh, R.E.M., so great to hear this one again!  I was pretty enamored with this song back in the day, and no mystery why, since it’s all kinds of awesome.  And super fast, too, am I right, R.E.M.?  I’m sitting there singing along to it and it’s over before it even started.  It’s truly a song that leaves you wanting more of it, and probably explains why I taped it off the radio more than once.

But as I was listening to it, it did remind me that when the zombie and/or robot apocalypse comes, I’ll be one of the first to go.  Because I lack some very basic survival skills, R.E.M.  Like facing north.  Or facing west.  I THINK I know where north is right now, maybe kinda.  I’ll tell you that when I was a kid, I had absolutely no concept of directions.  When I was a kid, my understanding was that on a map, west was on the left and east was on the right.  Meaning that any time you turned left, you were heading west and any time you turned right, you were heading east.  And obviously that meant north was always straight ahead and south was always behind you.  Hey, at least I knew my right from my left.  I think.

I’d like to say that my navigational skills have evolved since then, R.E.M., and they have, a little.  But I was never into hunting or fishing or camping, I quit the Boy Scouts fairly early on and the only directions I’m really good at following is when it comes to finding the nearest fast food joint or how to program the DVR.  So if someone would happen to give me directions using ACTUAL directions, like “Go west for 2 miles and then turn north”, I would only hear gibberish.  Just tell me how close it is to the nearest McDonald’s, Popeyes, and/or Wendy’s, and I’ll find it just fine.

In short, when the robots and/or zombies come for us, you know what I’ll be doing.  Standing.  Watching them head right for me.  And since they’re in front of me, they’re clearly coming from the north.  Unless I’m looking to my left. . .

“Stand”

Stand in the place where you live
Now face north
Think about direction, wonder why you haven’t before
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face west
Think about the place where you live, wonder why you haven’t before
If you are confused
Check with the sun
Carry a compass
Ta help you along
Your feet
Are goin’
To be on the ground
Your head
Is there
To move you around, so stand in the place where you live
Now face north
Think about direction, wonder why you haven’t before
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face west
Think about the place where you live, wonder why you haven’t before
Your feet
Are goin’
To be on the ground
Your head
Is there
To move you around
If wishes were trees
The trees would be fallin’
Listen to reason
Season is callin’
Stand in the place where you live
Now face north
Think about direction, wonder why you haven’t before
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face west
Think about the place where you live, wonder why you haven’t before

<awesome R.E.M. jam>

If wishes were trees
The trees would be fallin’
Listen to reason
Reason is callin’
Your feet
Are goin’
To be on the ground
Your head
Is there
To move you around, so stand (stand!)

Now face north
Think about direction, wonder why you haven’t before
Now stand (stand!)

Now face west
Think about the place where you live, wonder why you haven’t

Stand in the place where you live
Now face north
Think about direction, wonder why you haven’t before
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face west
Think about the place where you live, wonder why you haven’t before
Stand in the place where you are (now face north)
Stand in the place where you are (now face west)
Stand in the place where you are (your feet are goin’ to be on the ground)
Stand in the place where you are (your head is there to move you around)
So staannnnd