Oh, Paula Abdul, it makes me kinda wish that I was a cold-hearted snake just so you’d sing this song to me. Seriously, Paula Abdul, did you have to sing a song about how much of a dog, I mean, snake that this guy is in such a sexy way? Doesn’t it defeat the purpose? Wait. Is this is a test? Am I not supposed to find your voice sexy on this song? Am I supposed to be listening to this and nodding my head and shouting “You go, girl!” at the computer screen? If I’m instead just looking at that picture of you and thinking how amazingly beautiful you are, does that mean that I’m a cold-hearted snake like that guy in the song?
Dammit, Paula Abdul, that’s a dirty trick!!!! You can’t sing “C-c-c-cold-hearted, ooo ahh ahh, c-c-c-cold-hearted sssssnake” and sssseriously believe that none of us aren’t going to find that ssssexxxxy asssssss hell. It’s unfair. I will gladly get on board that the guy isn’t worth your friend’s time. I will sign an affidavit swearing to it. I will do whatever you want me to if you’ll just sing this song to me one more time.
What’s that you say? Let’s ask my wife what she thinks about all this?
Damn you, Paula Abdul.
“Cold Hearted”
<awesome Paula Abdul jam>
He’s a cold-hearted snake (girl)
Look into his eyes
Uh oh
He’s been tellin’ lies
He’s a lover boy at play (girl)
He don’t play by rules (oh ohhhh)
Uh oh
Girl, don’t play the fool now
You’re the one givin’ up the love
Any time he needs it
Butcha turn your back and then he’s off and runnin’ with the crowd
You’re the one ta sacrifice
Anything to please him
Do ya really think he thinks aboutchoo when he’s out?
He’s a cold-hearted snake (girl)
Look into his eyes
Uh oh
He’s been tellin’ lies
He’s a lover boy at play (girl)
He don’t play by rules (oh ohhhh)
Uh oh
Girl, don’t play the fool now
It was only late last night
He was out there sneakin’
Then he calledjoo up ta check thatchoo were waitin’ by the phone
All the world’s a candy store
He’s been trick-or-treatin’
When it comes ta true love, girl, with him there’s no one home
He’s a cold-hearted snake (girl)
Look into his eyes
Uh oh
He’s been tellin’ lies
He’s a lover boy at play (girl)
He don’t play by rules (oh ohhhh)
Uh oh
Girl, don’t play the fool now
How come how come he can he can tell-a tell-a you’re-a you’re-a always always number number one without a doubt
When-a when-a he is he is always always squirmin’ squirmin’ like a little snake under-a e-ver-y-a rock
You’ve been you’ve been workin’ workin’ on the on the love and he’s been only only playin’ undercover all the while
Take a take another ‘nother look into his eyes and you will on-ly see a rep-tile
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You could find somebody bet-ter, girl
He could only make ya cry
You deserve somebody bet-ter, girl
Lemme tell ya
He’s c-cold as ice ice ice ice
(Cold as ice)
(He’s cold as ice)
(He’s cold as ice)
Stay away from him
Girl
C-c-c-cold-hearted
Ooo ahh ahh
C-c-c-cold-hearted sssssssnake
C-c-c-cold-hearted
Ooo ahh ahh
C-c-c-cold-hearted sssssssnake
He’s a cold-hearted snake (girl)
Look into his eyes
Uh oh
He’s been tellin’ lies
He’s a lover boy at play (girl)
He don’t play by rules (oh ohhhh)
Uh oh
Girl, don’t play the fool fool
Uh
Ahh
Look into his eyes
Uh
Ahh
He’s been tellin’ lies
Uh
Ahh
He don’t play by rules
Uh
Ahh
Girl, don’t play the fool
He’s a cold-hearted snake (girl)
Look into his eyes
Uh oh
He’s been tellin’ lies
He’s a lover boy at play (girl)
He don’t play by rules (oh ohhhh)
Uh oh
Girl, don’t play the fool
He’s a cold-hearted snake (girl)
Look into his eyes
Mixed Tape Masterpiece 