Oh, Phil Collins, you, sir, are one of my favorites. Your voice kind of sounds like if an elf became a pop sensation, and let’s face it, you kind of look a little like an elf. In a good way. Believe me, Phil Collins, I likes me some elves. One of the first comics I really fell in love with was “Elfquest”, and trust me, these ain’t your grandma’s elves. Assuming your grandma was into elves.
I love a good song. And most songs are more about abstract feelings and abstract situations, but I’m a huge fan of a great song that also tells a great story. And I’ve always been fascinated by Billy’s story. I’m sure there’s a real story behind it, but I always pictured Billy as being stuck in some kind of Stephen King-like story, where some shadowy demon-things that everyone thinks are human sets him up for a crime he didn’t commit and now he’s on the run trying to save the world, and you’re the loyal narrator telling his story. I would love it if HBO produced a show just like that, called it “Billy”, and this was the song they played over the opening credits. In fact, maybe we could make Billy an elf. I smell a hit!
“Don’t Lose My Number”
They came at night leavin’ fear behind
Shadows were on the ground
Oh, nobody knew where to find him
No evidence was found
“I’m never comin’ back!”
They heard him cry
And I believe him
Well, he never meant to do anything wrong
It’s gonna get worse if he waits too long
Billy
Billy, doncha lose my number
‘Cause you’re not anywhere
That I can find you
Oh, now, Billy
Billy, doncha lose my number
‘Cause you’re not anywhere
That I can find you
Ohhh no!
Searching through the day and into the night
They wouldn’t stop ’til they found him
They didn’t know him and they didn’t understand
They never asked him why
“Get outta my way!”
They heard him shout
Then a blinding light
I wanted to see, was he runnin’ down the street
Outta the shadows and into the night.
Now, Billy
Billy, doncha lose my number
‘Cause you’re not anywhere
That I can find you
Oh, now, Billy
Billy, doncha lose my number
‘Cause you’re not anywhere
That I can find you
Ohh, don’t give up
Keep runnin’
Keep hidin’
Don’t give up
Billy, if you know you’re right
Don’t give up
You know that I am on your side
Don’t give up
Oh, Billy
You better
You better
You better run for your life
<awesome Phil Collins jam>
Now, Billy
Billy, doncha lose my number
‘Cause you’re not anywhere
That I can find you
Oh, now, Billy
Billy, doncha lose my number
‘Cause you’re not anywhere
That I can find you
Oh!
They came at night leavin’ fear behind
Shadows were on the ground
Nobody knew where to find him
No evidence was found
“I’m never comin’ back!”
They heard him cry
And I believe him
He never meant to do anything wrong
It’s gonna get worse if he waits too long
Now, Billy
Billy, doncha lose my number
‘Cause you’re not anywhere
That I can find you
Oh, now, Billy
Billy, doncha lose my number
‘Cause you’re not anywhere
That I can find you
Oh, now, Billy
Billy, doncha lose my number
‘Cause you’re not anywhere
Mixed Tape Masterpiece 