Radio VIII, side B, track 9: “Smuggler’s Blues” by Glenn Frey

Oh, Glenn Frey, this song was so far out of my realm of understanding that most of these lyrics made absolutely no sense to me.  Here’s the thing, Glenn Frey.  We had TV, but our antenna only picked up two channels, and that was CBS and ABC.  Sometimes NBC came in all right, and occasionally we could get a signal on PBS, but until I was in junior high and my dad invested in a big-ass satellite dish (nirvana!), we had limited TV viewing capabilities.  What’s my point, Glenn Frey?  It’s this:  “Miami Vice” was on NBC.  And so it didn’t come in very well or very often.  And frankly, Glenn Frey, one of the few times it was on was during a steamy sex scene and my parents were none too thrilled and had me get up and change the channel (it was also the first time I saw what looked like two people who may have actually been doing it.  my aunt who was staying with us at the time explained that they wore body stockings or something, but that just intrigued me all the more).  Anyway, had I been able to watch more “Miami Vice”, I might have had a better understanding of what all this smuggling business was about.

Oh, sure, I grew up in the era of Nancy Reagan making an appearance on “Diff’rent Strokes” and imploring us to “Just Say No!”, but living on a farm, my question was “Just say no to what?”  I had no idea where someone could “score” anything and even if I did I wouldn’t know what to ask for or how to use it if I got it.  Hell, Glenn Frey, you had to drive a county over to buy condoms so no one would recognize you, and even then you were risking it (not that I knew what those were either. . .).

This is how sheltered my life was, Glenn Frey:  I didn’t realize that people in Minnesota used marijuana until my freshman year of college.  That’s a true story.  So I enjoyed this song a lot, Glenn Frey, but you might as well have been singing about Narnia because that would have been just as believable as people shooting each other over. . .hash, is it?  Which is a yummy way to make potatoes.  And that’s just silly.

“Smuggler’s Blues”

There’s trouble on the street tonight, I can feel it in my bones
I had a premonition that he should not go alone
I knew the gun was loaded, but I didn’t think he’d kill
Everything exploded, and the blood began to spill
So baby, here’s your ticket, and the suitcase in your hand
Here’s a little money, now do it just the way we planned
You be cool for twenty hours, and I’ll pay ya twenty grand

I’m sorry it went down like this, but someone had ta lose
It’s the nature of the business, it’s the smuggler’s blues

Smuggler’s blues

The sailors and the pilots, the soldiers and the law
The payoffs and the ripoffs and the things nobody saw
Don’t matter if it’s heroin, cocaine or hash
You’ve got ta carry weapons ’cause ya always carry cash
There’s lotsa shady characters, lotsa dirty deals
Every name’s an alias in case somebody squeals
It’s the lure of easy money, it’s got a very strong appeal

Perhaps you’d understand it better standin’ in my shoes
It’s the ultimate enticement, it’s the smuggler’s blues

Smuggler’s blues

<awesome Glenn Frey jam>

See it in the headlines, ya hear it every day
They say they’re gonna stop it, but it doesn’t go away
They move it through Miami, sell it in L.A.
They hide it up in Telluride, I mean it’s here ta stay
It’s propping up the governments in Columbia and Peru
You ask any DEA man, he’ll say there’s nothin’ we can do
From the office of the president right down to me and you

Me and you

It’s a losin’ proposition, but one you can’t refuse
It’s the politics of contraband, it’s the smuggler’s blues

Smuggler’s blues